


You Drive Me Crazy

by BlancaPowell



Series: You Drive Me Crazy [1]
Category: PlayChoices, Ride or Die (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Awkward Romance, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Declarations Of Love, Drama & Romance, Eventual Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Jealousy, Love, Love Triangles, Romance, Romantic Friendship, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Teen Angst, Teen Romance, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 02:26:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18682255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlancaPowell/pseuds/BlancaPowell





	1. YDMC: PART ONE

“How does your last teenage days feel?”

At the sound of Colt’s voice, Ellie jumped and turned quickly to face her friend, now standing in the doorway, smug smile on his face.

“You’ve scared me! I told you to knock!” She squealed throwing a pillow at him.

“I would if you finally learned to close the door, El,” he said looking around the room. “Preparing for college, I see?”

“Mhm,” she nodded, eyes focused on her giant to-do list.

“Yeah, what’s better to do on a Friday night, huh? Especially when your father is on a night shift. Packing sounds perfect,” he teased, peeking at the contents of Ellie’s suitcase.

She turned to him and narrowed her eyes. “I just don’t want to leave it for the last moment!”

“And where’s the fun in this?” Colt asked and Ellie rolled her eyes.

“How are we even friends?” She looked at him jumping on her bed, still in his dirty clothes and she fought the urge to tell him to get up and at least take off his shoes. It never worked though. Ever since she met Colt Kaneko over ten years ago she knew he was a complete opposite of her. The only thing they had in common was the situation with their fathers. 

Both Ellie and Colt couldn’t find a common language with their parents. Ellie’s father being a police officer was very protective of his daughter and rarely ever let her do anything she really wanted. Colt’s father, on the other hand, seemed not to care about his son at all. When still a young boy, Colt tried his best to get approval from his father but Teppei wasn’t exactly the kind of father who would pat his son on the back and say “good job, kiddo.” So Colt stopped trying. His life from then on was full of what he called “fun” and what Ellie called “stupidity.”

She was the perfect daughter who for her own father’s sake postponed going to college and stayed with him for a little bit longer when he didn’t feel his best. Her days consisted of studying, helping her father, meeting with the two friends she had, drawing and constant daydreaming.

His days were full of clubbing, different women he happily invited to his apartment, long drives on his beloved motorcycle and illegal races, but these were from time to time.

Ellie always teased him about his lifestyle and tried to act all “motherly” but Colt never listened to her, however he was glad to have at least one person who seemed to care about him.

Maybe this was what was drawing him to Ellie. She was so different yet she understood him like no other. And never judged him. She was his “safe haven” even though he could never admit this out loud.

“I’m gonna miss you when you’ll be in college,” he sighed playing with one of Ellie’s porcelain figures.

“You can always go back to college too. I’m sure they miss you after so many years of absence,” she smirked at him and he stuck out his tongue.

“It’s Friday night, El.”

“Hmm? Yes, I can see that,” she murmured, counting something and writing the numbers down.

“You should do something fun! I can take you–”

“Colt,” Ellie turned to him, “no offence but we have two different concepts of fun. I don’t like yours.”

“I just want you to live a little! You complain about feeling trapped in a cage but you don’t want to do anything outside your comfort zone!”

“It’s not that easy!”

“For example, you’ve always wanted a driver’s license? Tell me, what’s stopping you?”

“My father? You know what he thinks about it!”

“Ellie, you’ll be twenty in three days, why don’t you just stand up for yourself?”

“Well, I’m not you Colt!” she exclaimed and then added, whispering, “And I don’t want to lose my father.”

“You won’t–”

“Just drop it! Please, I have other things to think about right now,” she waved her hand and turned back to checking things off her to-do list. Colt was watching her with a forced disguise on his face. She was so stubborn… He had been trying to make her do more crazy things but he failed almost every single time. The only thing she ever agreed to was riding his motorcycle from time to time. And it was a huge success.

“You’re such a nun!” he finally spoke, teasing her as always.

“Says the American Don Juan!” Ellie teased back with a smile on her face. 

_Finally, a smile!_

“Wha-aat, me?!”

“You!” she chuckled, “You earned quite a reputation here. Especially after that situation with…what was her name? Alice? Alana? Amber?”

“Err…does it really matter?”

“I guess it doesn’t to you,” she sighed sadly and motioned her room. “I’m gonna spend the rest of the night preparing my stuff so if you don’t wanna help maybe you should go find a new girlfriend for the night.”

Colt stood up and hesitated a little before finally nodding. “Right, I guess I should go. See ya tomorrow, El!”

“Yeah…See you…”

~~~~

“Wow, I can’t wait to meet her! You’ll see, a few meetings with me and she’ll forget about being all nice and proper!”

“Oh no, no! Don’t break my friend, Mona! She might seem boring but she’s still my friend,” Colt laughed, sitting next to his new collegue during the lunch break.

Ever since his father hired Mona, he finally felt like he had someone to talk to. Someone he could vibe with.

“I think she just needs some stimulus. Maybe going to college without her father will help?” Mona suggested and Colt smiled.

“Probably…”

“Why do you even care about it so much? It’s her life!” she took a sip of her drink and twisted her face as the sour taste filled her mouth.

Colt sighed, “I just want her to enjoy life. I see how miserable she is, I’m tired of her constantly complaining about it.”

“You can’t change her into you, Colt. If that’s what she really wants, her time will come eventually. You can’t speed up those things.”

Colt only grunted in response and Mona waited a few moments to ask another, more important in her opinion question.

“Do you…have a crush on her?” she started, suspiciously studying her new friend’s face.

“No! We’ve been friends forever and I don’t see her this way. Besides, she’d never want a guy like me…Nope.”

“Mhm,” Mona narrowed her eyes as if not believing what Colt just said. But what else could be said? It was all true, Colt wasn’t Ellie’s type. She always dreamed about a prince charming, about having a long-term, stable relationship. And Colt had never been in one. And didn’t know how to be in one either. And most surely, he wasn’t a prince charming. Lost in his thoughts, he suddenly realized Mona was talking to him this whole time.

“Hm?”

“I asked: when do I get to meet her? Is she organizing a birthday party I can crash?” Mona repeated trying hide the annoyance in her voice.

“Ha! Ellie has been to a party once and never again. She said it wasn’t her scene or something. No, she doesn’t have any plans for her birthday… unless… unless…”

“Unless what?” Mona asked impatiently but Colt only smirked and jumped up, startling her.

“I’ll tell you later, gotta go now!”

And without paying attention to Mona’s yells, he drove to Ellie’s house. She opened the door still in her pajamas but with make up on.

“What are you doing here?” she asked confused, letting him in.

“I have a proposition for you. And I don’t take ‘no’ for an answer.”

“Okay…Spill it!”

“I’m taking you on a birthday trip. Well, two days trip to be exact. But I promise it’ll be fun! And we can cross out some things off your bucket list, yes, I know you have one,” he shook his head not letting her interrupt, “we can jump off the cliff at midnight and do all these fancy stuff you’ve always wanted so that you can go to college and actually have something interesting to tell.”

“Jerk,” Ellie shoved him playfully but he grabbed her hand before she could hit him again. “I think Dad won’t mind, he has a night shift anyway. But as for me…Two days with you seems like too much. And what will you do without your girlfriends? What will  _they_ do!” she teased him as he rolled her eyes, still holding her hand.

“They’ll survive. So what, do we have a deal?”

“I don’t know…”

“Come on, El! I promise you’ll have lots of fun!”

“Ugh, fine! But we’re staying in a hotel, not in a tent like last time!”

“Yes ma’am! Great! See you then!” Colt hopped on his motorcycle, grinning and mentally planning everything for Ellie’s birthday trip.

_Get ready, Ellie. This will be the most unforgettable birthday you’ve ever had._


	2. YDMC: PART TWO

“Umm, so your crazy birthday plan was to take me to the seaside? The place where we come pretty much every other week?” Ellie asked hesitantly while getting off the motorcycle and looking around.

“It’s not about where we are but about what we’re about to do! Besides, your father doesn’t let you go any further so it had to do,” Colt shrugged as Ellie raised an eyebrow.

He took her hand and led into the hotel he booked for one night and a day. She sighed relieved when she saw two separate beds meaning she wouldn’t have to share one with his friend. The, what she called “incident of 2014,” left her with a couple of bruises as Colt had always had a rather yen sleep and he kicked everything and everyone around him. Taking advantage of being a birthday girl, she quickly crossed the room to put her bag on the bed near the window.

“I have a small gift for you before we head out,” Colt walked to her and handed her a small package. She looked up, confused taking a cursory glance at the clock above their heads.

“It’s almost nine and I’d much rather stay indoors and watch some movies. Besides, my birthday is tomorrow and you didn’t have to buy me anything! You already paid for that trip–”

“Your birthday is in more or less four hours and it’s really nothing. Just open it.”

She took the package tentatively and started tearing up the paper until she saw the title of the book she just received.

“How to Finally Live Your Life? Colt, what is that supposed to mean, do you have to offend me even on my–”

“Open it.” Colt said firmly and she only shook her head. Her eyes immediately widened as she flipped through the pages.

“Huh? It’s blank? What does it mean?” she looked at him puzzled.

“It means it’s your life and you make up the rules. Not your father, not me, just you. And speaking of it,” he opened the book at the last page and took a piece of paper out, “I paid for your first few driving lessons. It’s up to you to decide to take the test eventually but I thought at least you can try to see if you like it. And I rewrote your bucket list, see here?” He pointed the list but Ellie could barely see anything through tears that welled up in her eyes.

“Thank you. This is the best gift ever, thank you!” she threw her hands around his neck and felt his arms circling her waist.

“Yeah, well…” he ran his hand through his hair, his cheeks red. “Get ready, we’re going out in a few!”

“Going where? Colt, I don’t want to go out anywhere, I’m good here!”

“We’re going on a party! But don’t worry,” he saw the expression on her face, “it’s a hotel party so we can go back anytime you want! But there’s cake waiting for you so I’d suggest hurrying up!”

“I’m gonna hate it,” Ellie murmured under her nose when Colt disappeared in the bathroom. Why did she even agree to come here with him?

~~~~

“I’M LOVING THIS!!!” Ellie’s scream was barely audible thanks to the loud music in the club, but Colt smirked knowing he was right  _again._

Ellie has been dancing this whole time while he just looked at her, beer in his hand. After the tenth song, she finally collapsed on the sofa beside Colt.

“I take it you’re enjoying the party?” he asked mockingly.

“Yeah, yeah, you were right! It’s so much better when there’s no people I know who can judge me! First page from Ellie’s diary starts off right! Wooooo!”

Colt chuckled looking at his friend half dancing, half eating the cake. “How about we make it even more interesting?” he raised his eyebrow suggestively.

“What do you mean?”

“Have you ever tried any alcohol?”

“I’m not twenty-one yet!” Ellie tried to argue but Colt only shrugged.

“And? Do you think most people wait till twenty-one to drink? Well, you’d be surprised.”

“Listen,” he started again, “I’m not telling you what to do but we’re away from your father and we can always order you a drink with not that much alcohol in it. It’s your decision.”

He could see she was thinking about it and after a moment she noded her head. “Okay. But not too much, just so I can get the taste.”

Colt smiled at her, but his smile faded a few hours later when Ellie drank her fourth drink.  _Her father can never know about this. NEVER._

“Colt?” He turned to see her, all red and sweaty from dancing. “Can we go outside, please? It’s too hot in here for me, I need some air.”

He noded and led her out into the night. It was a surprisingly warm summer night and the two of them walked for some time until they reached the beach.

“Ooooh! Remember when I put ‘midnight swim’ on my bucket list? That’s a perfect opportunity!” Ellie exclaimed and Colt’s eyes widened as she tried to take her clothes off.

“Ellie! No! Wait, let me at least check the water’s temperature! Do not swim, understand?”

“What happened to your crrraziness! Who’s being a nun now? Ha? Ha? Hahahahaha!”

_Oh boy…What has he done?_

She was already in her underwear and he watched her, all ready to save her if she really decided to swim. Ellie carefully stepped into the water and slowly sat down. She smiled at Colt before lying down, letting the warm water wet her body. Colt swallowed hard at the sight before him and stood still not sure what he was feeling seeing his friend like that. In no time she stood up again and ran up to the pile of her clothes she left and using her jacket as a towel she dried up. She put her clothes on and Colt, without questions, gave her his own jacket to warm her up. She smiled gratefully at him and they both sat down on the sand looking at the sea, lost in thoughts.

“Huh,” she shook her head fighting a chuckle.

“What?” Colt asked her pulling her closer to him.

“Nothing, it’s stupid.”

“It’s not! Tell me!”

“Okay, so I actually had one more thing on my bucket list but you never saw it. It’s stupid but I wrote it last year. I wanted to have my first kiss before I turn twenty. And I was just laughing because I will never be able to cross it out,” Ellie admitted blushing.

“Wait…you’ve never been kissed?!”

“It’s not like I’ve had any chance! Between school and home, there’s not many possibilities to meet anyone,” she huffed.

“I didn’t mean it like this, El. I’m sorry. I just thought…”

“Who was I supposed to kiss? Riya? Darius?  _You?_ ” she chuckled.

_Well…yeah, actually._

He tried to laugh but it the lump he felt in his throat make it impossible.  _What the hell is wrong with me today?_

“And I’m just scared, you know,” she went on, “that if I ever meet the right guy I won’t know what to do. And he’ll laugh at me because I’m already twenty and I don’t know how to kiss.”

“First of all, the  _right_ guy will never laugh at you. And secondly, kissing isn’t hard. It’s like an automatic reaction, you’ll see.”

“Easy for you to say, you–”

“Okay, okay, cool it. I’m just saying, it’s not that hard. But,” he paused and looked at her as if weighting the words that were about to come out, “if you want to, I can teach you.”

She turned to him, her eyes wide open, mouth opening and closing, not sure how to respond.

_Way to go, idiot. Why did you even propose that?! You’re her friend, she doesn’t want to kiss you, what is wrong with you!!_

“Okay.”

“What?” He looked her not sure if he really heard what he heard.  _Did she just say okay?_

“I want to be prepared. I’m just warning you, I’m probably bad at this and don’t you dare laugh–”

But before she could finish, his lips crashed onto hers, shuting her up. She closed her eyes and gave up completely to the feeling. Colt was right, she did know what to do—and it felt better than anything she ever experienced. He deepened the kiss as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Every inch of his body melted into hers. And even though he had kissed many, many times in his life, this kiss somehow felt like it was his first one.

He gently pushed her so she was lying on the sand as he was kissing her hungrily. And finally he pulled away, right before the clock struck one and with that he whispered into her ear, “Happy birthday.”


	3. YDMC: PART THREE

The day came before either of them realized and Colt yawned, stretching himself in his bed. He looked at Ellie still sleeping soundly and shook his head. She passed out last night and since then nothing could wake her up. Until now.

He watched her when she opened her eyes and flinched. Even though she hadn’t had that much alcohol, she wasn’t used to it and he was sure today would be a bit harder for her.

“Happy birthday El! How are you feeling?”

“Shhhh” she closed her eyes and waved her hand at him, “Not so loud.”

He chuckled in response and got up handing her a glass of water that was standing on the nightstand. She thanked him silently and drank the whole thing.

“How did I even come back? I don’t remember the way back,” she asked after a moment of silence.

Colt shrugged, “I carried you here. You fell asleep on the beach and I couldn’t wake you up. You were snoring so loud I was surprised it didn’t wake you up.”

Ellie threw a pillow at laughing Colt but he dodged it.

“Jerk!” she yelled but flinched again at the tone of her own voice.

“So…” Colt started, fidgeting with an empty glass, overthinking the question he was about to ask. Or rather the answer he inevitably would get. Last night could either ruin their friendship or take it to the next level. And honestly, he was afraid of both. “You remember anything at all what happened?”

She looked at him confused, “We went clubbing.”

“And…?”

“…and I drank alcohol?”

“And…?”

“And we went outside to the seashore cause I felt like I couldn’t breathe?”

“Do you remember what happened there?” he raised an eyebrow trying to compose himself while his heart was beating abnormally fast.What was happening to him?

“Oh! I know! Technically I didn’t go for a midnight swim  _but_ I was in the water at midnight. That counts, right?”

“Yeah… And what happened next?”

“You helped me to warm up I guess?”

“And?”

“I don’t know. I remember whining about something to you but I don’t remember what it was about. And then I passed out, I think. And you carried me here, didn’t you?”

His heart sunk as his face fell. She didn’t remember the kiss, she didn’t remember anything. He tried to smile but for some weird reason he felt heartbroken. He didn’t know why. Ellie was just his friend, right? Maybe…it was for the best.

“ _Yes._ ” He heard his shaky voice. “This is exactly what happened.”

Ellie nodded and Colt’s heart broke.  _So this is it_.

~~~~

“Colt?”

“Hmm?” he turned to Mona and met with her usual annoyed look. “What?”

“I’ve asked you about something ten times and you didn’t even answer! Are you even listening?”

He rubbed his temples and sighed. “I’m sorry. What were you asking about?”

“Are you going to tell me what happened or not? Ever since you came back from Ellie’s birthday trip you’re like a ghost of a dude I used to know.”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” Colt got up and went to the other side of the garage, ignoring the death stare Mona was giving him.

“Okay then. Suffer in silence. I don’t care. Oh! My friends come tomorrow so invite Ellie. You don’t have to come but she does.” Mona said before leaving Colt alone in the room.

_Invite Ellie._

_What for? Ellie is my friend!_

He sighed and quickly messaged Ellie. If she’s going, he’s going too.  _For safety purposes, of course._

~~~~

“Ellie! How great to finally meeet you!” Mona exclaimed the next day when Colt brought Ellie to the little garage backyard. “Colt,” her voice was cold. He didn’t care. Instead, he was scanning the people that were there too, Mona’s friends.

“Everyone, this is Ellie and her friend, Colt! Ellie, meet Toby,” she gestured at a tattooed man in a man bun. He hugged her and she smiled at him.

“This is Ximena,” Mona said and Colt watched, eyes wide open, as a tall, and also tattoed, woman lifted Ellie effortlessly and squeezed her tightly. He was just about to interrupt this moment of affection, in fear that Mona’s friend could hurt Ellie, but she seemed fine when her feet met with the ground again.

“And this is Logan, the newest addition to our group.”

Logan stepped up with a smile on his face and shook Ellie’s hand. She was clearly very charmed by this Logan. She seemed to forget how to breathe and Colt was wondering when she would ran out of oxygen. Before he could roll his eyes for the hundredth time, Ellie composed herself and smiled at Logan.

“It’s so nice to meet you all! This is Colt, my best friend,” Ellie motioned him and he realized everyone was staring at him.  _Great._

“Yeah, umm, hi.”

They all nodded and started chatting with Ellie was clearly enjoying herself. For the next few hours, Colt was sitting in front of Ellie and Logan, watching them and drinking beer. The two of them seemed to get along pretty well, which somehow pissed Colt off. He couldn’t explain it but the moment Logan put his arm around her, Colt wanted to hit the guy with the bottle. He was annoyed and wanted nothing more than to take Ellie home.

Mona, on the other hand, seemed to enjoy the whole situation. She smirked at Colt every time he narrowed his eyes because of what Logan and Ellie did.

He hated him. He hated Logan even though he didn’t even know him. He just hated the guy. He tried mentally send him a “ _get away from her_ ” message but it didn’t seem to be working. On the contrary, it only made them sit closer to each other and chat as if the world was about to end. Another eye-roll, another gulp.

When finally Logan gave Ellie his jacket, it was enough for him. He couldn’t stay there any loger. Without saying anything, he got up and headed towards his beloved bike. He heard footsteps behind him and turned in hopes to see Ellie but no. It was Mona and Colt only wanted to get away from there faster. Ellie probably didn’t even notice he was gone.

“You can’t drive after drinking! That’s the only rule you promised to–”

“I’ve done worse things,” he said and hopped on the motorcycle.

“Colt!”

~~~~

He was driving as fast as he could to get to that one place he felt safe at. He sat down on the cold ground and contemplated for hours. He thought of Ellie, of her birthday, of Logan, of everything. He tried to understand his emotions but the more he thought about it, the more he hated the end result.

The conclusion was inevitable. Undeniable.

He closed his eyes and for the first time in his life, he didn’t know what to do.

~~~~

When he came back to the garage it was late but Mona was still there.

“Where the hell have you been?!”

Colt threw his helmet somewhere and sat down, his head in his hands.

“Well?” she sounded angry but he didn’t care. He had to tell someone.

“Mona…” Colt’s voice broke and he looked at her with pleading eyes, “I’m falling for Ellie.”


	4. YDMC: PART FOUR

Colt woke up blinded by the little rays of sun peeking through the window. He tried to pull the blinds but a sudden wave of nausea and a sharp pain in this head stopped him. The hangover was killing him, that’s for sure.

He turned slowly to the other side of the bed and spotted a half-naked woman, still sleeping. He tried to recall her name but the only one he could come up with was Ellie. And that was definitely not Ellie. Sadly.

As quietly as he possibly could, Colt got up and quickly got dressed. He wanted to get out of the unknown house before the woman woke up. Again.

For the last two weeks, that was what his days looked like: getting up with a hangover, realizing he was not in his room, quickly leaving the house before anyone woke up, spending the day in his safe place, going clubbing in the evening again, drinking too much and ending up with random women in their beds.

He felt awful, not because he couldn’t remember any of their names, but because he knew he was doing it because of Ellie. Instead of telling her how he really felt, he was running away.

He hadn’t seen Ellie, or Mona, or anyone for that matter, for almost two weeks. His phone was turned off as he felt like he couldn’t be bothered with everyone asking about him. Or maybe he just didn’t want to know what was between Ellie and Landon. Or maybe Lucas? Luke? Logan?

_Ehh, who cares._

Staggering, he managed to get outside and started looking for his motorcycle. It wasn’t the best idea to drive it in his condition, but he stopped caring about anything the moment he realized he was in love with his best friend. And she would never fall for him.

“Hey! Colt, right?” He heard a familiar voice behind him and prayed it wasn’t the person he thought it would be.

_Please don’t be him, please don’t be–_

“I’m Logan, remember?”

_Uhh, please no!_

“Unfortunately,” Colt answered not even bothering to look at Logan.

“Do you feel alright, man? You look sick,” Logan’s voice was full of concern but somehow it made Colt even angrier.

“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel, if we’re being honest.”

“Whoa, I was trying to be nice!”

“Then don’t. Just go away, kid.”

Logan shook his head, “Ellie’s told me many good things about you, I guess she was wrong.”

“Ellie? Leave her out of it! She deserves better than you!” Colt yelled, flinching a little, still struggling with the effects of his hangover.

“Better than me? You’re talking about yourself?” Logan laughed and Colt clenched his fists. “I like Ellie and she likes me. If you have a problem with it then maybe grow up. And if you think you’re a better match for her, maybe you should answer her calls more often. Or check in with her once in a while? If you bothered to talk to her at all, you’d know her father is in hospital again. And she needed you but you never called her. Great friend indeed, huh?”

_Shit._

Colt watched as Logan walked away, standing stunned, not sure what to do.

Ellie’s father was in the hospital again?

_Oh no, oh no, oh no._

He disappointed her. Again. He was constantly disappoining her. Hell, he disappointed himself too.

_I don’t deserve her, I don’t deserve anything._

Without thinking too much, he hopped on his bike and drove to the hospital, hoping Ellie would be there with her father.

She was.

When he spotted her, his heart sunk and he felt like the worst person on Earth. She was sleeping on a chair, next to her father’s bed, squeezing his hand. It’d been only two weeks, but she looked tinier than the last time he saw her.

Hesitantly, he walked up to them and put his arm on Ellie’s shoulder waking her.

“Mmm…Colt?” she asked opening her eyes and he squeezed her hand reassuringly.

“I’m sorry, El. I’m so, so sorry,” he whispered, fighting back his tears. How could he do this to her? To the only person who actually still cared about him?

“Colt,” she threw her arms around his neck and he pulled her closer.

“Shh, I’m here, El. I’m here.”

“He’s okay,” she finally pulled away and motioned to her father. “The doctors say he can come back home today. He’s overworked himself, again.”

“Again?” he asked remembering the last time it happened. Ellie was fourteen when  her father was admitted to the hospital and she was scared to death. Colt would come over to her house and slept in her room with her so she wouldn’t feel lonely. He noticed that even though she was twenty now, she didn’t look any less scared. He wondered who kept her company at night. Was it Logan?

_Don’t go there, don’t go there._

“I’m, errr, sorry I wasn’t there for you. I had to deal with some…stuff.”

_Smooth._

“It’s okay, I understand. I’ve noticed you’ve been rather distant and I thought maybe you needed some space. Don’t worry, I’ve been taken a good care of!” She smiled at him reassuringly but he felt even worse.

“Oh. By who?”

“Well, Mona patted me on the back but I figured she’s not the type to be super affectionate. Toby and Ximena kept me busy and I didn’t have the time to panic and Logan–”

“Time’s up, kids! I need to take Mr. Wheeler to run some tests. Only his closest family can be present,” the nurse who just came into the room started waking up Ellie’s father and Colt looked at his friend, mentally begging her to continue what she was about to say.

“Later,” instead she said, “come to the garage in the evening, I have some exciting news!”

Colt only nodded as the nurse closed the door right in front of his face. He only hoped Ellie’s news wouln’t be about Logan.

~~~~

“Well, well, well! Look who decided to show up at last! Are you sure you’re in the right place?” Mona mocked him the second Colt entered the garage. He rolled his eyes in response but his face fell when he saw Logan working on something in the corner.

“Who invited this dickhead here?! Should I show him the exit?” He asked clenching his fists.

“Whoaa, someone needs some anger management therapy! He didn’t do anything to you, Colt.”

“I don’t need any anger management therapy, I need him to stop pissing me off! What is he doing here?”

“Your father hired him. You know, after one employee took a two-week break he had to find some replacement.”

“HE. IS NOT. MY. REPLACEMENT. And he will never be!” He gritted his teeth and Mona took a step back.

“Whoa, what did he even do to you? Is that about Ellie?”

“TADAAAA!” Both Mona and Colt turned to see Ellie standing in front of them in the tank top showing her new tattoo. Mona nodded approvingly but Colt was standing still, his mouth wide open.

“MONA?” He finally turned to Mona, “WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY FRIEND?!”

“Me? Nothing. But Ximena mentioned she was a tattoo artist and asked if Ellie wanted one and she did,” she shrugged.

“AND YOU APPROVED?”

“Umm? I’m twenty, I don’t need anyone’s approval, you know that, right?” Ellie interjected and Mona quietly left the two of them alone.

“I’m—just shocked. That you would do it… I mean, I was gone for two weeks and I come back and you have your arm covered in ink. But it’s cool. Really. If you say you’ve also changed your name I won’t be surprised. Go ahead. Hit me.”

Ellie laughed and Colt smiled. He missed that sound.

“Nope, only the tattoo for now. But,” she lowered her voice, “there is one more thing I crossed out of my bucket list. And one another I’m about to cross out this weekend.”

“Another one? What did you cross out?” He asked confused and Ellie bit her lip.

“I had my first kiss a few days ago,” she nodded towards Logan and Colt felt as if a bucket full ice-cold water was thrown on him.

“With… Logan?”

“Yes! He was so gentle and sweet–”

“I don’t want to hear about it.” He quickly cut the conversation short. The fact that she didn’t remember  Colt and her kissed, that he could survive. But the fact that she thought her first kiss was with Logan, it was too much.

“Sooo… What have you been up to?” Ellie finally asked.

“Oh, you know, just…stuff.”

“Meaning the usual: alcohol, girls and races?” she asked innocently but it somehow made Colt angry.

“Well, I’m not a saint like Logan, you know about it,” he shrugged and then asked, “so what have you been up to? Probably not alcohol, boys and races, huh?”

“I spent most of my time with Logan. He gave me a few driving lessons actually and said I was pretty good!”

“Kiss ass,” Colt muttered.

“We got pretty close. I really like him, Colt. I think he might be my first serious boyfriend.”

“Him?! No way, El. Do you know anything about him? He’s Mona friend, that suspicious. Don’t rush into things, he’s no good news.”

“Why are you so anti-Logan? He’s a great guy! He’s–”

“I don’t wanna hear about him, okay? Just saying you should stay away from him before things get too serious.”

“Might be a bit too late for that,” she whispered and he turned to her quickly, shocked expression on his face.

_Don’t say that, don’t say that, don’t say that._

“Do you mean you… slept with him?” he asked praying for a “no.”

“Not yet. But remember when I said about this other thing from my bucket list that I’m about to cross out? He’s taking me for a weekend trip! My dad agreed, he likes Logan too. And I think I’m ready.” Ellie said blushing.

“You can’t do that! You’re not ready!”

“I am!”

“You’re not! You just met him!” Colt tried to argue, slowly losing his patience.

“And you know all these women you sleep with every day?”

“This is…That’s not…It’s different!”

“It’s not. You told me to start living the way I want and I want it. I don’t even know I’m telling you all of this. I just figured since you’re my best friend and we’ve never had secrets I’d tell you but I guess I was wrong,” she glared at him.

“You are not losing your virginity to Logan!!” Colt yelled making Mona, who just entered the room, drop the screwdriver.

“Okaaay, I clearly wasn’t done in the other room,” she murmured and escaped as quickly as possible.

“Not so loud, you moron!” Ellie hushed him. “You’re not my father. You’re not me. You don’t get to decide.”

“Oh yeah? Maybe I’m not your friend either?”

“Rememeber when we had our first fight? You told me if was a mistake to be friends with a girl like me. That we shouldn’t be friends and it was a bad idea. Maybe you were right. Maybe we shouldn’t be friends since you clearly don’t want me to be happy!” Ellie exclaimed and Colt stood stunned.

_Was she… breaking up with him?_

“Ellie…”

“I’m sick and tired of people telling me what to do. You told me to set up my own rules. You told me to live the way I want to. And when I try to, you stop me. I’m sick of it, I’m done!”

“Ellie, please…”

“No, Colt. I need to get going, Logan’s waiting. You won’t ruin this for me.”

“Ellie…” Colt pleaded but she already left and got in Logan’s car. They drove off and Colt couldn’t get rid of the feeling of loss.

“Well, that’s quite a show you put up here. If you only fought for  _her_ the way you fought for her virginity, maybe you two would be a couple by now,” Mona joked earning a diguisted look from Colt.

“I’ve lost her. The only person I think I might even love, I lost her.”


	5. YDMC: PART FIVE

Colt was driving aimlessy around the neighborhood for hours. It was supposed to help clear his mind but ironically the longer he was driving, the worse he felt. Finally, he decided to do something he had never done, namely, talk with someone about what he was feeling.

He entered the garage a few hours after the argument with Ellie and started looking for Mona.

“Here comes the knight in shining armor! Fighting for justice and his girl’s virginity!” Mona exclaimed, noticing Colt and earning a surprised look on Toby’s face.

“You’ll do it again and I’m gonna kill you.” Colt said, slowly regretting his decision.

“This is actually kinda cute, you know. I wish someone fought for me the way you fought for her virginity.” Mona kept on going, clearly testing his patience.

“ENOUGH”

“Whoaa, chill! You must admit it’s a bit funny and weird.”

“Maybe,” he sighed, “I just wanted to be her first”

“Why does it matter so much to you?” Mona patted a seat next to hers, wordlessly inviting him to share his thoughts. He thanked her with a smile and after a moment of silence he started talking.

“I don’t know. I guess I thought maybe this could make me somehow special in her eyes? I don’t know, it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid. But you wouldn’t be her first anyway, she had her first kiss with Logan a few days ago. She told us about it ten times because she couldn’t get ahold of you.”

“I was her first kiss.”

“What?” Mona’s eyes widened and Colt sighed before starting explaining.

“I kissed her on her birthday but she doesn’t remember it cause she was a little drunk.”

“Well, that definitely complicates things for you, mate.”

“Thanks. I don’t even know why I’m so mad about it. It’s not like I stand any chance…” he fell silent as various memories came to his mind. The day he met Ellie. The day Ellie told he was a jerk but “in a cool way,” their first argument, the day their fathers met, the day their fathers starting hating each other (which was the same day they met actually), the day Ellie saved his ass and he felt unworthy of her for the first time. The day he took her on a ride on his motorcycle for the first time. The day he broke his arm and she was the only person visiting him in the hospital. The day he won his first illegal race and took Ellie shopping for whatever she wanted. The day he realized he was falling for her. The day she met Logan. The day she ended their friendship and chose Logan. The day he lost his everything.

“Oh come on, man! Why do you think so?” Mona’s voice interrupted his thoughts. He cleared his throat, coming back to reality.

“Cause I’m exactly what she’s  _not_ looking for in a man. And Logan is exactly what she  _is_ looking for in one,” he shrugged.

“Which is…?”

“Ellie has always had this  _romantic_  vision of love. You know, finding the one and spending the rest of her life with him. A stable, long-term relationship. A guy who can express his feelings. And I’m not like that. I’ve never been in a real relationship, I’ve had many women and I don’t think the idea of settling down fits me. I’ve seen the way she looked at me whenever I talked about it with her. As if she was disappointed.”

“So why do you want her? If you know she can’t be happy with you, why do you want to ruin her chance to be with someone who can make her happy?”

“I don’t know. I’m so selfish… For a moment I thought that maybe, _maybe_ , I could build a real relationship with her. Do whatever would make her happy. If she wanted me too, of course. I don’t know what to do, Mona. I’ve never felt this way before. I’ve never been in love, I’m scared.”

“You know… there’s a person who’d understand you better than me, who you should talk to.”

“Who?”

“Ellie.”

~~~~

Days passed. One, two and Ellie was back in town again.

She never called him, didn’t fill him with the news as she usually did. Colt checked his phone every few minutes and even thought it might’ve been broken until he realized Ellie simply didn’t want to talk to him.

She avoided him, that was sure. She didn’t visit anyone in the garage when he was there. He tried to call her twice but she never answered. She was angry and he didn’t blame her for this. But it didn’t make him any less heartbroken.

He was suffering.

One day he decided to drink himself to death but passed out before he could do so. Colt felt like his life didn’t make any sense. He now had exactly zero people that cared for him. He was lonely and sad and couldn’t even face Ellie. And it was killing him.

~~~~

“Maybe you should take a break, huh? You’ve been working for the past six hours, non stop,” Mona stood behind Colt who was fixing something in an old car.

“I’m good, thanks,” he answered not stopping even for a second. Unlike his last breakdown, this time he didn’t party, didn’t sleep with anyone. He was working day and night at his father’s garage and Mona noticed the change in his behavior.

“Colt…” she seemed worried but Colt didn’t really care about anything. And most definitely, he didn’t care about himself.

“I promise I’m alright,” he muttered and Mona walked away shaking her head. He was so focused on his work that didn’t even noticed when the lights went out and he nearly hit his head in the fender.

“What the hell?!” He cursed and Mona only shrugged innocently.

“I guess electricity went out. What a shame you can’t work now and you have to take a break.”

Colt narrowed his eyes and started waving at Mona with his screwdriver.

“I know it was you! Now fix it cause I gotta work!”

“You gotta talk to Ellie before you overwork yourself to death!” Mona practically yelled.

“There’s nothing to talk about. She hates me and I am no match for her. Please let me be miserable in peace.”

“You’re such a–”

“Mona?” a familiar voice filled the room and Colt’s heart started beating faster.  _Oh no, oh no_. “Why is it so dark in here?”

“Power went out. Don’t worry it’s not serious but I’m glad you’re here!” Mona looked at Colt suggestively and he stepped up to face his old friend.

“Oh,” Ellie said noticing him. She smiled nervously at Mona and took a step back.

“No, Ellie, please wait,” Colt walked up to her and tried to take her hand but she didn’t let him touch her. His heart broke a little at the gesture but he kept a straight face.

“I need to go,” she tried to walk past him but he blocked her way out.

“Ellie, please stay, I want to talk to you, apologize.”

“What for? So that you can start being a jerk again in a few days? No thanks.”

“Ellie!” But she somehow managed to get passed him and started running to Logan’s car. “Ellie!” he screamed not caring if Logan (or a whole neighborhood) could hear him. Apparently neither did she, because she pretended to not hear Colt’s desperate cries.

Desperate.

That what he really was. He was desperate.

And before thinking about it for a little longer, he cried out the words that perfectly described his emotions making him finally understand what he truly felt.

“ELLIE! I love you!”


	6. YDMC: PART SIX

“ _I love you, Ellie,” Colt repeated and within seconds Ellie threw her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately as if they never argued, as if she remembered he was her first, as if it all made sense again._

Except that it wasn’t true. That was not the reality. The reality was harsh.

It was over.

Colt hid his face between his hands, sitting on his bed, his shirt wet from tears. His tears.

He sat there, trying to steady his breath and reminiscing about what happened only an hour ago.

“ _This is low, even for you!” she shouted at him from behind the closed car door._

“ _I just said I loved you, how is this low?!”_

“ _Oh, please! You’ll do just everything to make me stop seeing Logan! I didn’t expect you’d actually start pretending you like me not but apparently I don’t even know you!”_

_I don’t even know you. Know you._

He didn’t know himself either at this point.

There was no Colt he used to know. No Colt who laughed at being too emotional. No Colt who didn’t care about what other thought about him. No Colt who never shed a tear.

That Colt was gone. Dead.

This Colt was helpless, in love and needed a hug. This Colt hated this new Colt.

“Stupid feelings!” he slammed his fist into the wooden bed frame breaking it.

He needed to leave. Go far away and never look back. Leave as soon as possible.

~~~~

“Young Kaneko! Hi, come in,” Ellie’s father opened the door and let Colt in. “My daughter is not here, I’m afraid. She’s constanstly out somewhere and I barely see her these days,” he sighed.

“I actually came to you. To say goodbye. I’m leaving the town and I figured I’d tell you,” Colt shrugged gently as he felt Ellie’s dad’s gaze on him.

“Why?”

“Oh you know, nothing is happening here, really. I want to know the world. Leave this shithole, start my life. Ellie’s going to college soon too so it’s not like I have much left here,” he said biting his lower lip. It wasn’t all true. He lost Ellie before she even went to college and ever since Logan appeared, he had nothing left.

“Ellie knows?”

“I’ll tell her. I couldn’t find her.”

“You sure you want to leave? You and Ellie seemed–”

“I’m sure. Won’t change my mind,” Colt cut him off. Ellie’s father nodded and went silent for a moment.

“She’ll miss you,” the old man finally spoke. Colt shook his head.

“I doubt it. She’s going to college soon, she has friends. She’ll be fine.”

“She’ll miss you,” he repeated, “and it’s not certain she’ll go to college this year.”

“What? Why?” Colt asked alarmed.  _Did something happen?_

“I need to pay one last installment but my visit at the hospital cost a half of it. I’m not sure if I’ll manage the get the money before it’s due.” He explained and Colt started thinking.  _Did Ellie know? She wanted to go to college so bad… She’ll be devastated._

“Think positively,” Colt said, “maybe you’ll have the money. I gotta go now but please, take care of yourself, sir.”

“You too, Kaneko. You too.”

~~~~

His mind was racing.

He hadn’t done it in months but he needed the money. For Ellie. For her college. For her dreams. For her freedom. For her.

He knew it was stupid and Ellie would be mad if she found out he was doing it again. That was why he only told Mona about it. She was against it too but he didn’t care. This was the only way he could help Ellie before he would leave.

“Yo, Kaneko!” A man named Salazar walked up to him with a few of his buddies. “Haven’t seen you in a while. Racing again?”

“Yup,” Colt answered shortly. He hated the guy and he didn’t come here for a small talk. He came here to race and to win the money he needed. And then leave. For good.

“Think you can win? With me?” the man laughed and his friends followed.

_What a bunch of morons._

“I always did.”

“Aren’t you afraid you precious litte friend’s father, who’s a  _cop,_  will find out you took part in illegal races  _again_?”

“And who’s gonna tell him?  _You_?” Colt laughed and Salazar narrowed his eyes.

“You’re going down,” he said before he left and Colt rolled his eyes. _Whatever. I’m here just for the money._

He walked up to his motorcycle and studied it for a second. He wasn’t afraid of losing, he knew he was good and since Ellie was his motivation, he knew he could win this. He smiled at the thought of Ellie but his face fell remembering their last meeting. He was just about to warm up, his little silly routine before every race, when his phone rang.

Mona.

“I’m kinda busy right now, Mona.”

“Ellie was here. Asking about you.”

“What?” he froze. “What was she asking? Why…?”

‘I told her where you are. And what you’re about to do.”

“What?! Mona! How could you, I trusted you!” Colt yelled into the phone.

“She came here and told me her father told her you were leaving. She wanted to know why. I told her it was partly because of her. I might have told her some things from your perspective. She thought you were pretending when you said you loved her, now she knows it wasn’t a lie. I told her you don’t know how to deal with your emotions but you fell for her. She seemed to be shocked.”

“MONA!”

“Listen, Colt. I like you but you need help. She would never know if I hadn’t told her. I spared her the details but long story short, she knows you wanted to be more than friends with her and that’s why you acted like a total ass. And she’s headed there so you’d better win that race asap before she gets there.” Mona kept explaining but Colt stood still, not sure what to think. Ellie knew everything.  _Shit._ He quickly hung up and hopped on his bike. The race was supposed to start soon and he hoped it’s end before Ellie arrived.

It felt almost nice to be back. The adrenaline, the exicitement, it all was back.

The race started and Colt easily managed to draw ahead. He saw Salazar in the corner of his eyes, he was determined to win this time but Colt maneuvered slightly and was first on the finish line. He smirked at the “losers” and went to claim his prize when he saw her.

Ellie was furious.

She noticed him and started yelling something, something he couldn’t understand because one of the motorcycles’ engine was still working. He turned to ask the owner to stop it but saw Salazer driving straight into him, clearly trying to hit him.

“WHAT THE HELL?” Colt yelled when he jumped back dodging the bike. Salazar looked back at him, not even bothering to stop the vehicle. Colt’s angry expression quickly turned into a pure horror on his face when he realized Salazar’s motorcycle was going right into…Ellie.

“Ellie!” he screamed but she was too shocked to move and Salazar seemed to have frozen as well.

“STOP IT!!” Colt yelled running after the bike, praying to somehow make it stop.

“ELLIE!” he cried out but it was too late. She was hit and thrown with a huge force, and landed on the street. Colt felt like he was going to either throw up or kill Salazar. Preferably both.

“Ellie!” he ran up to her and looked in horror at her face, the blood dripping from her head, forming a small puddle which was doubling before his very eyes.

“Ellie, please, stay with me,” he tried to stop the bleeding with his jacket, frantically looking for his phone. Salazar and the rest of the people stood still looking at both of them with their eyes wide opened.

“Can someone call the ambulace?!” Colt lost his patience and started yelling at the crowd. They all only shrugged.

“If we call 911 the police will come as well and we’ll be all arrested. It’s not worth it. It’s better to sacrifice her,” Salazar pointed to Ellie.

“SACRIFICE ELLIE?!” Colt stood up and started walking towards Salazar with hate in his eyes. “How about we sacrifice you and tell the police you wanted to kill her, huh?”

“Dude… not worth it. He’s right,” another man cut in. Colt glared at him and then looked around at the faces of everyone.

“You’re…You’re serious? You’ll let her  _die_ because you’re afraid you’d go to jail?” he asked hesitantly. They all nodded. Salazar put a hand on his shoulder but Colt shook it off. “Accidents happen. We’re leaving and so should you,” he said and they all started slowly dispersing.

Colt stood frozen at what he just witnessed. He looked at the men driving away and then at Ellie laying motionless on the road. Then again at the men and at Ellie. And again.

Sacrifice.

Ellie.

Ellie.

Sacrifice.

He closed his eyes and whispered into the night “I’m sorry.”

He looked at her again, as if remembering her features before he spoke again. “911? I’d like to report an accident.”


	7. YDMC: PART SEVEN

**THREE MONTHS LATER**

“Kaneko, you’re up!”

Colt signed as a familiar police officer came up and opened the cell. He was pretty comforable here. At least he was far away from the world he hated.

The officer shot him a cold look and Colt smirked in return.

“You’ll miss me, huh?”

“Just go and make sure to never come back.”

Colt mockingly blew him a kiss and entered the main hall. Mona was sitting on the chair, waiting for him. She was the only person who visited him in jail for the past few months. The only one who didn’t turn her back on him. Even his own father didn’t want to talk to him. And Ellie… He didn’t know what happened with Ellie. Whether she was fine or not, he was to afraid to ask Mona so he never found out.

“Well, finally! The prodigal son has returned home!” Mona exclaimed when she saw him and Colt froze her with his stare.

“Don’t say ‘I told you so’.”

“I won’t.” she said and a few minutes passed in silence before she whispered, barely audible “Je te l'avais bien dit.”

“I heard it! What does it mean?” Colt eyed her suspiciously

“I told you so in French.” she grinned and Colt rolled his eyes.

“Come on, let’s get you out of here. How are you doing?” she asked as if concerned but he only shrugged.

“I’m okay. I just wish I could leave the country but I can’t,” he signed and she nodded.

In silence, they reached Mona’s car and Colt got lost in his thoughts while she was driving.

“You don’t want to know what happened after they arrested you?” she finally asked.

He didn’t answer.

“Ellie’s father was furious. I think he hates you now. I’m not surprised. Ellie woke up after three days. Her first question was ‘where is Colt.’ Her father really hates you, man. Even though she told him it was her fault.”

_She was alive. She was alive. She was alive._

He silently thanked God for letting her live. Every day in jail he prayed Ellie was okay. He didn’t care about himself, whether he would be released or not, all he cared about was Ellie.

And she was alive.

“Is she okay?” he asked, realizing he interrupted Mona.

“Yes, I think she is now. She spent some time at hospital, missing her first days of college but she’s there now. In college, I mean.”

“Good. That’s…Good.” Colt nodded. She probably didn’t want to see him. And he didn’t want to get her into trouble. That was for the best. She was there and he was here. They would never meet again and as much as it hurt Colt, it was best for her.

“She’s coming home for Thanksgiving soon,” Mona said as if reading his mind.

“Good for her.”

“You two should talk.”

“Better not,” he heard her sigh in return but there was no time for arguing since they reached Kaneko Auto Shop. And he had to face his father now.

Kaneko was wiping the car window when his son entered. He didn’t even look up and Colt swallowed hard. Was he supposed to apologize? Move on as if nothing happened? He was sure his dad was disappointed. All he ever did always disappointing Teppei.

“Pop, I–”

“I don’t care,” Teppei stood up and threw a cloth at him, letting him know to get back to work. Colt wordlessly nodded and his father left the room.

That was it for the father-son moment. Mona patted him on the back and came back to work as well. And so did he. As if nothing happened.

~~~~

Days passed. Weeks passed. Everything seemed to be back to normal, Colt worked as usual and his father acted as if nothing happened. The only thing that felt different was the ache that Colt felt in his heart when thinking of Ellie. He still couldn’t believe he lost her.

Mona wanted to talk to him on several occasions but he always tried to avoid the topic. Mona might have thought it was because Colt was so cold and reserved but truthfully, it still hurt him too much to talk about it.

He saw Ellie’s father once doing groceries. Colt greeted him as usual but the old man only narrowed his eyes and turned back without saying anything. Colt knew it was over, really over.

That Thanksgiving was one of the worst days he ever had. Usually, he would go to dinner at Ellie’s but for obvious reasons he wasn’t able to do so this year. Instead, him, Mona, Toby, Xiemena and even Teppei had a small dinner, and then had the rest of the day for themselves. Colt went to work on his bike, Toby and Ximena went to watch some show and Mona went somewhere too.

He tried not to think about Ellie, was she home already? Colt scolded himself for thinking of her again. He turned his full attention to his motorcycle and a few minutes passed before he heard someone entering garage.

“Colt?” he looked over his shoulder to see Mona looking nervous.

“Hm?”

“Can you help me with something in Kaneko’s office? He asked me to get some papers but I can’t find them for life,” she asked and disappeared right after

Colt rolled his eyes and threw his tools on the ground before wiping his hands and following his friend.

“Mona?” he entered the office looking for her.

“Colt?”

“Ellie?” his eyes widened at the sight of his old friend instead of Mona. “What are you doing here?”

“I– Mona asked me to help her in something, she said you wouldn’t be here,” she admitted sheepishly.

_Of course. She wouldn’t come here for me._

“Mona asked to–” he started and looked at Ellie, both his with sudden realization.

“Mona.” They both said in unison but before they reached the door, they were already closed, someone locking them from the other side.

“MONA!” Colt yelled banging his fists on the door. “This is not funny, open the door!”

“Mona, please,” Ellie tried too.

For the first time that day, Colt looked at her and took her sight in. She was beautiful. As always though, but something about her, he couldn’t exactly pinpoint what, was making her look even more beautiful than ever. There was no signs of her accident, expect for a little scar on her head, covered by hair.

“I’m not letting you out before you talk,” they heard Mona from behind the door.

“Come on, Mona! Are we five?” Colt was losing his patience. On the other hand though… he was happy to finally have Ellie all to himself.

“Apparently you are! You two should’ve talked  _ages_ ago so I’m giving you the chance.”

“Mona…” Ellie tried again.

“I’ll be back in a few hours but if you haven’t made up by then, you can spend the night there cause I will not let you out until you sort out your shit. Snacks and drinks are in the mini fridge, condoms are in the left drawer and you can sleep on the couch, it’s pretty comfy.”

“MONA!” Colt raised his voice at Mona’s suggestion. This was truly not an ideal situation to talk to Ellie. “Mona!” he yelled again but the only sound he heard was Mona leaving and closing the door behind her.

They were stuck here. For a few hours.

With drinks. And food. And condoms.

_Oh boy._


	8. YDMC: PART EIGHT

Colt knocked. And knocked. And kicked the door and yelled and knocked again. Nothing was working because Mona apparently left them all alone in the garage. If they died no one would know. Great.

“I guess she really trapped us here. I’m sorry, Ellie,” Colt shifted uncomfortably and risked a look at his old friend, sitting on his father’s couch. Despite the circumstances she looked amused. And she was searching the mini fridge for something to drink.

“It’s fine. Oh! Look! You like these!” she held a bottle with his favorite soft drink but he only shook his head.

“It’s not funny!”

“Well, I’m having fun,” she chuckled, “ seriously, Colt. We haven’t been able to  _talk_ for so long and I’m really tired of this miscommunication between us. I miss  _us_.”

“Ellie…”

“I called you pretty much every single day but you never answered.”

“I lost my phone in this mess a few months ago and I never bought another one. I didn’t expect anyone to call me.”

“Well, I did,” she whispered, smiling sadly at him.

A few minutes passed before Colt spoke, his voice calm and composed despite his heart nearly having an attack.

“How are you? How’s college?”

“I’m good. But I hated you so much when I was in hospital. So much.”

“I know I screwed up, I never should’ve come between you and Logan and–”

“I hated you for putting yourself in danger again. You promised to never race again.”

“Ellie, I…”

“Did it for me, I know,” she admitted and his eyes widened.

“You… do? Mona told you, didn’t she?”

“No one told me. But one day we have no money and right after you win a race we do? I’m not stupid, Colt.”

“I never thought you were,” he answered quietly.

“I wanted to talk to you. Before I was run over, I wanted to talk to you about something,” she looked at him and he remembered the conversation he had with Mona that day. She told Ellie everything. He blushed at the thought and shifted his gaze to his father’s desk.

“Was it true?” he heard Ellie’s question but he didn’t know what to say. What she wanted him to say.

“Mona,” her voice broke slightly, “Mona told me you were’t mocking me or joking. She told me you really felt something for me. Was it true?”

He wasn’t sure if he wasn’t imagining this, but her voice sounded almost… hopeful.

“Yeah,” he answered slowly, not bothering to look at her. He just couldn’t.

“When I woke up in hospital I needed to talk to you. But my father didn’t let me. He told me I wasn’t allowed to go near a man who almost got me killed.”

“I almost got you killed?” Suddenly Colt turned to face her. “I almost got you killed? Me?! I would  _kill_ for you, I would move the whole world for you, how could he say that I almost got you killed?!”

Colt took a deep breath and walked away from her to calm himself.  _One, two, three._

“I tried to reach you but I couldn’t. Mona told me you were in jail. That you risked your freedom for me.”

“I wouldn’t be that dramatic about it,” he snorted.

“Why didn’t you tell me? About your feelings? You know, talk to me instead of yelling.”

“I tried but… I don’t know, it’s not the easiest thing for me. And you were with Logan and all. And I was only your friend and I didn’t want to risk our friendship,” he sighed, “but I guess I did anyway.”

Ellie was silent for a few minutes and all Colt could hear was the ticking of the clock his father found on the flea market.

“You know…” Ellie finally spoke, “I didn’t…”

“You didn’t what?” Colt asked, still not looking at her.

“I didn’t sleep with Logan,” she whispered.

“What?” he turned to her, his eyes widened but he tried to ignore her red cheeks.

“I didn’t sleep with Logan. I wanted to because I was mad at you. But then I realized I wasn’t ready. Because all I could think of was you.”

“Whaaa–” Colt felt like the room was spinning. Or maybe he was spinning. Or maybe his head was detached and started spinning. Or–

“Logan is amazing. He’s a perfect guy for me. But… he’s not you.”

_Breathe, Colt, breathe. Or you’ll die and you’ll never know if what she’s saying is true. Holy shit, is it true? Am I hallucinating?_

“You on the other hand… You’re like everything I don’t want in a guy and yet you’re the only guy I want,” she admitted, blushing.

_Okay, I don’t need to breathe anymore cause I’m definitely dead already._

“When I realized that I was scared, I didn’t know if you would return my feelings. I know what you’re like with women,” she said, sadness in her voice, “When you started acting weird and yelling these things I thought you were mocking me. That you somehow found out and decided to mock me.”

_Breathe!!!!! One, two, holyshitshelikesmeohmygosh, three…_

“It’s silly but… I was reading an article the other day, about fifty wordless ways to say ‘I love you’ and I realized you did most of them… I wanted to believe but I knew it was impossible… Given your history.”

He still didn’t say anything and Ellie shifted uncomfortably on the couch.

“Colt, say something, please.”

He took a deep breath, debating his answer. He needed to be honest though.

“I know my dating history is bad, Ellie. I know what you think of me. But you know why I sleep with all these women?”

“You… don’t need to tell me that,” her cheeks were red and for a second Colt found it adorable how sweet and innocent she was.

“It sounds so, so, so stupid, so please never tell anyone and forget it right after I’ll say it, but I just wanted to feel love,” this time he blushed.  _Gosh, what was about her that made him acting so weird?_ “I thought I’d know how it is to feel loved. After a while I realized it wasn’t love but I didn’t care really.” He shrugged and tried to sound nonchalant.

“That was the closest I could get to love so I didn’t mind. That’s the only reason, Ellie. Not because I’m a monster or whatever you think of me.”

“I never thought of you like this!” she protested but he only waved his hand at her.

“Please, forget I ever said that okay? And  _especially_ never tell Mona, okay?”

“Of course,” she nodded, “ I wish you told me sooner, though.”

“So, you and Logan? Are you guys–?”

“No. We never were. He knew my heart was elsewhere. We stayed friends.”

“Oh.”

Silence fell between them again. They stole cursory glances at each other as if they were strangers, not best friends. Or whatever they were at that point.

“I meant everything I said.” Colt broke the silence and sat next to Ellie on the couch. He took her hands in his and looked at her. “Or yelled, actually. I do love you. I don’t know what to do about it, I don’t know how to express it and I would make the shittiest boyfriend ever, not even mentioning that I don’t deserve you at all, but I want you to know that I love you, Ellie. Even if it ruins our friendship, I want you to know that.”

“Colt…” she said before leaning in and kissing him on the lips. He smiled against her and pulled her closer to him.

_If it’s a dream, I don’t want to wake up._

“I know you were my first kiss to,” she admitted when they parted.

“You… remembered?”

She shook her head, “Unfortunately no. Mona told me. But if you’d like to remind me what it felt like…”

Colt smiled before his lips crashed onto hers, pinning her to the couch, lying on top of her. He deepened the kiss, his arms wrapped around her, holding her as close as possible.

“Colt?” she pulled away to catch a breath.

“Yeah?”

“I love you, too.”

Colt’s expression almost melted with affection when he looked at her, tears in his eyes.  _This is definitely the most beautiful dream._

He felt her lips on his neck and frowned when her hands wandered under his shirt.

“Ellie, Ellie,” he stopped her and she looked at him confused.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

“No, no,” he kissed her forehead, “it’s okay. I just don’t want to do it here. And now.”

“Why not? The couch is pretty comfy.”

“Ellie, I have waited my whole life for you and you’re way too special for this. And I’m not ready yet, I– I want it to be special. We’re not doing it on the couch my father found next to the dumpster.”

“Ew, ew, ew!” Ellie jumped out of the couch, smoothing her dress.

He laughed, for the very first time in a very long time, relieved and happy as she shot him an annoyed look.

“Okay, point taken. I guess you’re worth the wait,” she teased biting her lip.

In no time, it was Colt who was biting it, holding her close, as if still not sure it was real.

“Do you have your clothes on?”

They jumped apart at the sound of Mona’s voice from behind the door.

“Yes, you pervert! What did you think we would be doing, huh?” Colt yelled at her, kicking the door.

“I’ll leave it for your imagination. I’ve heard you’ve made up so I guess I can let you out now. And I promise it has nothing to do with Kaneko going back to his office in like a minute.”

“MONA!”

When they finally were out Colt let out an exaggerated sigh. Mona shook his head and looked at Ellie who was standing quietly, smiling from ear to ear.

“Anything the two of you want to say?”

“You kept us in there against our will, which is illegal?” Colt suggested and Mona rolled her eyes.

“A simple ‘thank you’ would do the trick too.”

“Thank you, Mona. I don’t know what would happened without you,” Ellie said before Colt could snap back at Mona.

“You’re welcome. If Colt didn’t make a move on you finally, I would,” she winked at her before turning to leave.

“She’s right though,” Colt admitted when Mona already disappeared. “If it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t be here.”

“Which means you should be nice to her. Unless you’re not happy with how it all played out…”

“I am! I am,” he kissed her again and again. It wasn’t possible for him to ever get tired of kissing her.

“I love you, Ellie. Even when you sometimes drive me crazy.”

“I love you too, Colt.”

## ~~ EPILOGUE ~~

He was happy.

For the first time since he could remember, Colt was happy. 

He was still learning about being in a relationship but Ellie was always beside him, and that was enough. The first days of dating were a bit awkward since Colt had never been in any long term relationship but his  _girlfriend_ was always ready to help him out.

“ _Oh Colt! You don’t need to buy me flowers every single time we meet!” Ellie chuckled as Colt blushed holding a bouquet of sunflowers in his hand._

“ _Really?”_

“ _Really,” she shoved him playfully, “You’d be broke in no time!”_

“ _Oh,” he ran his free hand in his hair, “I actually stole these…”_

“ _Colt!”_

He was happy.

He had someone who cared about him and always made sure he knew he was loved. His mornings always started with “Good morning, I love you” message from Ellie and ended with a “Sweet dreams, I love you” message, also from Ellie. 

His father didn’t seemed to care much that he was dating Ellie but he did pat him in the back awkwardly one day and repeated, “She’s a good one.”

But Colt already knew that.

Ellie’s father forgave him eventually, after finding out what he did for her, what they felt for each other, he didn’t have much choice but to accept his daughter’s choice. 

He was happy.

Their first time happened  _much_ later. Colt didn’t feel ready before and Ellie mocked him to no end.

“ _Well, well, well… Who’s being a nun now?” she laughed at his flushed face when he shot her an annoyed look._

“ _Shut up.”_

But as Colt promised, he made as special as it was possible. He booked a hotel room, the same one where they spent her 20th birthday, lit the candles, prepared all that fancy stuff he used to mock, and that way, he made their New Year’s Eve special. While people were welcoming the new year, celebrating it with the whole world, Colt was holding his own world in his arms.

He was happy.

Of course, it wasn’t always easy; Ellie still attended college so far away from him and even though she was trying to visit him as often as possible, it was still not enough for Colt. He couldn’t travel for a while and he desperately needed to be with her every day but he understood, he waited, he was patient. And even when things weren’t always easy for them, it didn’t matter much to him.

Because he was happy.

**THE END.**


End file.
